JOURNAL: full moon & retracing steps

A whirlwind tour of magickal lands.... stonehenge, avesbury, glastonbury, tintagel and places in between..... all known already, all met anew and their energy renewed by the june rites. Today the full moon and here I am, so exhausted that I could not raise a slight breeze..... but happy to have given pleasure and to have fed minds and spirits.

Jasmine again....

The scent now ethereal and seldom remembered, far away from its cause and even the consequences drift down the river of time affording a little more breathing room with every passing month. Yet jasmin arouses the essential woman, the one who cares not for the shape if the feeling be present. My unfaithful friend is remembered as I light a candle in my windowsill even though it is long past dawn. What a distinction, to be remembered from among those whom I call friends for the brand of disloyalty which marked my heart as surely as an iron brand forged and heated with hatred in the heart. And yet you loved me well.... I saw it myself and lived it day by day.

This morning early to light the wood in the stove, curlicues of steam from brewing tea and a comfortable armchair. Beyond the window spring has settled in well and the birds have been awake for hours. The only jarring note is a crocheted woollen cushion which has appeared all by itself on the armchair, I swear I did not put it there. Blue and yellow, with a hint of brown on the outer edge, lined in cotton.

JOURNAL: Beltane take III

after long absence: reunion. The gift of a long spring night is a sweetly stolen moment with your fingers feeding me and then taking from me a little token of what I would feed you with.... danger and thrill both. So easy to unsettle you with one sentence and how I love to challenge you, to make you know that it is I before you and no other. Within your cottage I realise that it is so very like my own that they could have been crafted by the same dreaming mind. Omen or coincidence? do we believe in concidences at all, sweet friend? the herbs gathered at Litha at last safe within your hands, to nourish you and give you solace when despair comes near, to cleanse your spirit. Watered by my own hand, cut with my own hand and sacred knife and hung to dry under my roof, a roof you shall sleep under when the time is right. When you drink them sunshine and earth shall mingle on your tongue and mayhap you shall remember me, as I remembered you that day in a land far away. We have lived in so many lands you and I, yet none have managed to make us part for very long.

JOURNAL: Beltane by full moon

Yes, beltane by near full moon and by the light of stars. Sound of running water jumping over slate. Movement of trees near and owls far.

JOURNAL: watching time

Watching time go by, as the flames burn and shimmer on the water. Night long as absence, your absence.

JOURNAL: new moon in spring

10% full doesnt cover the delicate sliver against a deeply dark sky. No man in the moon tonight, the maiden barely beginning to glide across a cloudless sky like the barque of ages. Ready to be filled with events, emotions, surprises, everything that the full march towards a moon laden with fulness may bring.

JOURNAL: waiting for time to repeat itself

The cyclical nature of certain events –while not proven by science- is a given in certain circles (pun entirely intentional) and with good reason. What has happened before has a high probability of recurring. Not that the universe favours catching the same bug again and again as a survival characteristic, but a certain susceptibility to entropy is established once something which tends to disorder is allowed to happen.

In the realm of human emotions this becomes a pattern which is well known to star-crossed lovers. A fine example is where a relationship has a past unknown to the couple. I am of course referring to past lives. Certain seeds of time and experience are sown in the soul and carried into a particular incarnation, to be watered by the first glance exchanged. The phenomenon of love at first sight –or coup de foudre, as the |French so aptly describe it, (for it is indeed as if a bolt of lightning had descended from the heavens unto the hapless pair) is the most usual expression of this happening and can reliably be followed by all the symptoms of two souls with outstanding business to confront.

Not for nothing is the repeating of certain key meetings referred to loosely as karma, rather than allowing for the possibility of an encounter being a result of dharma. It is not a simple lack of technical exactitude on the part of the speaker, it is a term chosen because unconsciously it is felt that such meetings are usually to settle outstanding debts.

What would make us stride boldly into perilous waters other than the feelings associated with being in love? The urgent need to breathe the same air and eat from the same plate ensures ample opportunity for karma to unfold and ripen. A trick of destiny to ensure we repay our debts and so bring some balance back into the development and progress of our souls.

Now, how many lifetimes of refining and adjusting, of paying and creating new debt must come round on the wheel of life before a fortunate encounter happens between those two souls? They may be assumed to progress, in the main. Yet they have no mechanism to ensure that they meet each time they reincarnate as each acquires obligations with other souls which may take precedence over their personal link. Time is fleeting. And in a way immaterial, for no matter how many lifetimes go by, they will have their opportunity to meet on a plane of existence to continue or conclude their business. Yet to be within a particular lifetime and to have gained enough awareness of these processes of the soul and THEN meet a pair of eyes across a room while knowing that one has seen them before, maybe remembering when, how, even why, is an entirely different process.

The most fortunate of encounters is when both souls are in a state which allows them to know what is happening. Such an encounter is seldom indeed. How curious then that they should knowingly avoid each other, what matter may induce such a reaction? When one of the two avoids, it is usually to avoid the payment of karmic debt, a presentiment of pain, of loss perhaps. To avoid re-living past pain is not a reason, for if they know what happened they know if it is not so this time. At this level of development there is access to further knowledge, so surely it cannot be fear of the unknown. What else could cause such avoidance? What instinctual knowledge is there unfolding which causes avoidance of what would seem a great privilege?